Now this is something I can watch. Not that other reality TV is stuff I can’t watch, per se because in brutal honesty, I watch it. Really, really well. I’m only a little ashamed that I put the series premier of this show on my calendar.
The new series is called Sisters Wives and it’s not about sisters that marry traditionally and talk about their marriages. That would be boring. No, no. This upcoming series has been dubbed the real life Big Love, and frankly, ‘nuff said.
I’ll say more.
Sister Wives features one polygamous “family” full of blonde wives, one newbie brunette (thank heavens) and a seriously disturbed man (my assessment). The preview (below) for the show consists of the “family” attempting to convince you, the viewer, that their lives are normal, that they’re all so happy and that they wouldn’t have it any other way.
Do I need to even use the word brainwashed here or is it implied?
In the above video, Cody the pervy “head-of-the-household” says, “I just fell in love. And then I fell in love again. And then I fell in love again,” like we’re all supposed to slap our knees and go “Oooooh love! Does such funny things sometimes! Ha! Oh, Cody, you polygamous little bastard! How innocent and fun!”
But it’s not. Neither innocent nor fun, in my opinion. I just don’t buy the ginormous, happy family bullshit. People are not robotic beings. Jealousy, anger and well, specifically, manslaughter (womanslaughter? wifeslaughter?) seem unavoidable in these types of situations. That fat, green, ugly monster, Envy, is bound to rear her hideous head when it’s a Tuesday evening and all Barbara the Mormon wants is to sleep with her husband but it’s Shirley the Mormon’s night. Mother-bleepin’ Shirley.
So as I was saying, I will totally watch this show. If a murder is going to take place on television, I want to be watching. I’d like the story arc to actually become a murder mystery where the women who have been brought up thinking that polygamy is what “happiness” is, come together as a Mormon Wife Crazy People Uprising and kill the power-tripped, creeper, maybe-he’s-compensating-for-sexual-preference-issues, Cody. I call the rights to this screenplay (that I’ve already started writing) and the subsequent movie deal. Also, if Cody continues to drop cheeseball lines, in the most genuinely creepy fashion, like “She’s a sister from the same Mister and he’s a brother from another mother,” then I’m freakin’ not missing this shit. Oh the fodder I’ll have to make fun of Mormon polygamists!
Though I think this “family” genuinely hopes to educate the public on how wonderful polygamy can be, it’s clear this show will simply make a mockery of them. Feminists and sane people alike (of which I am both) will watch and laugh at these fools as they attempt to portray a healthy lifestyle. And fail.
Can’t. Freakin’. Wait.
Will you watch?